Recently, two different girlfriends who are both in long term marriages have told me that sometimes they really envy my life.
Since getting divorced almost a year and a half ago, I am able to pretty much do what I want, when I want. Now, this is not necessarily the case when I have my daughter, but when she’s at her dad’s every Tuesday night and every other weekend I have eight days every month to do whatever the hell I want. And I LOVE that. I really do.
I can go meet friends, go hiking, volunteer, or even do absolutely nothing!!! Which, truth be told I have been known to do from time to time. It’s me, my couch and usually some true crime show either that I have on my DVR or that I’ve found on the ID channel. I am a classic introvert and need “me” time in order to function. I am fortunate that as a single divorced mom I do get that.
I really do have a great life and I’m in a good place. I have an abundance of friends, some that I’ve known almost all my life. Other friends that have trickled in throughout my adult life that I consider to be some of my best friends I’ve ever had. I live in a wonderful neighborhood in a super cute townhouse, I make enough money to pay all my bills and usually have a little extra at the end of the month, which I am so grateful for.
My daughter is adjusting remarkable well since her dad and I split. I can’t complain about too much. Life is good!
But, and there’s always a but, I sometimes miss having a partner to share life with. I find this especially true during the holidays, or when my daughter has a school event. Instead of having other parents feel the tension that exudes when my ex and I are in the same room together; it would be nice to have someone I love next to me to enjoy my little girl growing up. It would also be nice to have a partner to share the dull and mundane things that happen in life. Maybe it’s as simple as something funny that happened to me, or if I had a bad day at work. It would be nice to have someone there that I could share these things with.
And there’s sex. Oh, how it would be nice to have consistent sex with someone. I’m sure Duracell is going to be sending me a thank you card in the mail any day now thanking me for all the money I spend on batteries. Why is it that as soon as I got a divorce my sex drive has sky rocketed? A girls got to get those needs met somehow.
But, and there it is again. With a relationship comes compromise. And that is what I am just not willing to give up at this point. I like calling the shots. Whether it’s about what I’m doing, or not doing for that matter. I like being able to decide what to have for dinner every night. I don’t need to check in with my partner to see if they’re in the mood for Thai food. (Which who in the hell isn’t? ) But, you know what I mean. I want a part time, monogamous boyfriend. To me, this sounds like the ideal situation. All the fun without a lot of the work. Think “friends with benefits” but that lasts forever. This sounds so simple, easy and what I think most people, even married folks would really want.
Why is this so hard to find?