A Homage To My Tribe: My True Soulmates

One thing I will say is that I have always had amazing girlfriends. Most of my closest friends I have known since we were kids. Two of my best friends I’ve known since we were 6, which is crazy to think about because that’s my daughter’s age. I often wonder if the girls she plays with now will still be in her life 35 plus years later like mine are.

I have also been blessed with girlfriends that have come into my life as an adult that I consider to be my nearest and dearest friends. In a nutshell, I scored the lottery in the friend department.

As crazy as this sounds making new friends is kind of like finding a partner. At least for me, it is. I have to have chemistry with a woman before I will open up and be the real me. If I don’t feel that, then I really don’t want to waste my time. Be real, or go home.

As I was going through my divorce, it was my girlfriends that were there for me through thick and thin. One of my friends who only saw her boyfriend on weekends because of distance left his house immediately and stayed the night with me the day I found out about my ex’s affair. I was a distraught, pissed off wreck. She showed up with Fireball and an open ear. She listened to me scream, cry and even witnessed me cut up my ex’s favorite football jersey because I was so fucking pissed. I still don’t regret doing that.

My other girlfriends would call, text and reach out sometimes multiple times a day to check up on me. As messed up as my life had become, it was so comforting to know that I had some really kick ass women who loved me. They loved me in the good times and certainly loved me in the bad. Now, those are true friends. At that time I wasn’t able to really reciprocate any of the love back, but they didn’t care. They loved me and knew that’s what I needed.

I had a girlfriend who lived in Alaska that I hadn’t seen in almost 10 years fly all the way to Washington to see me and spend a few nights with me shortly after I left my now ex-husband. Now that’s a true friend!

I thank my lucky stars every day that I have these women in my life. It doesn’t matter what’s going on they are there for me. They are there when I want to share good news and they are there when I have bad news.

My friends have spent countless hours listening to my divorce drama. They would either be sitting next to me or on the phone listening patiently as I would complain, scream and cry over what a piece of shit my ex-husband is. I didn’t need advice, I needed a sounding board, and they knew that.

When my Dad died suddenly in July, my whole tribe was there once again. Not only did some drive hours to be at my dad’s service, but one of my friends hosted a gathering afterward. Something I didn’t have to worry about during my grief. Again, the phone calls and texts were consistent. Checking on me to make sure I was doing ok.

As crappy as my life has gotten the past year and a half I have always been reminded how truly lucky I am. I couldn’t imagine going through some shit that life throws at us alone.

One of my favorite lines from Sex and the City is when Charlotte is talking to the girls and she says “Maybe we can be each other’s soulmates and then we can let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.”

I have found my soulmates, I’m fortunate to have found more than most people get in a lifetime.

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